We Finally Moved & Here's What It Taught Me About Peace, Money, & Myself

It felt like a long time coming, but I finally did it.

My son and I moved back into our own space. It's just the two of us, again.

Day 1 in our new space. Cree insist on taking pictures with funny faces.

This Move Was Different

This move wasn’t rushed or chaotic like past ones. Well… sort of, but not really. I had a timeframe and wanted to move quickly, but what matters most is that I didn’t pack in a panic or make decisions from survival mode.

I gave myself time to think things through, to plan, strategize, and move mindfully. That was important to me this time. I knew I wanted it to feel different. To actually be different.

If you haven’t read my previous post, I Came Here for Safety, I’m Leaving for Peace, I encourage you to. To summarize, what I thought would be a supportive setup, turned out to be the complete opposite. Overall, it was an environment we simply couldn’t stay in. It was draining, and unsafe. Emotionally, mentally, energetically.

I personally tolerate a lot. Mistreatment. Toxicity. I think I’ve been conditioned to. But when it comes to my son, his wellbeing is not something I will ever waiver on.

I often think about how grateful I am for him. His existence fuels the once tiny flame of desire within me for better. He’s enhanced my awareness, inspired my motivation, and helped me level up in major ways.

The Move

From the moment I realized that living arrangement wasn’t going to work, it took about six months to actually make the move happen. We were there a total of nine months, from November to July. Sounds crazy when I say it out loud. It didn't feel that long, but it also, felt longer.

This time, instead of up and running, I focused on doing it "right." Not just reacting, but creating a plan.

I would use the time Cree was at tutoring to work and plan according.

Choosing a location that made sense for school, lifestyle, and routine have always been at the forefront of my focus. But this time I paused and took a real look at my life, who I am, and my current situation. Unlike before, instead of just looking for a "nice place" and aiming to afford it like I've done in the past, I instead looked for the lowest possible rent that still met our needs and standards. Clean, resident-only access, safe, and convenient.

I did this in an area that’s generally considered expensive.

As a single mom and entrepreneur currently working full-time as a bartender, a budget was front and center in all of my planning.

Extreme Sports for the Soul

Getting through to the other side was intense, and the challenges were a lot. Managing my thoughts and emotions, especially when I felt disrespected or antagonized, should honestly be listed under the category of extreme sports.

It was like being in a mental obstacle course every day, dodging triggers (well, managing them). Navigating gaslighting and manipulation. Climbing over frustration.

The endurance required? Olympic level.

Protecting my peace, keeping my son safe, all while pretending I was “okay” just to get through the day, go to work, and still show up for life.

I had to learn how to simply breathe through it. To be patient. To pause before reacting. To pull myself back into focus when all I wanted to do was scream. Mental and emotional self-control has become my sport. And I train hard, daily.

Doing it Alone

All of that, while trying to stay focused on the big picture and not letting distractions or other people’s energy throw me off. I got it done. Alone.

That’s something I’m proud of. Well, sort of.

Single-handedly doing the work of ten is not something I would wish for anybody. And transparently, I wish it was easier. I wish I did have a community. I wish I did have mentally healthy and emotionally intelligent people I could trust. But that’s just not the current reality.

Because this move was more about me stepping into what I prefer, I didn’t have much help. I did most of what people usually get help with, physically, and financially, alone.

On the bright side, it all showed me just how capable I really am.

Lessons From the Move

I learned so much through this move. Some of it was practical, and on-going like budgeting in real, honest numbers that reflect where I currently am, and also who I am.

But it wasn't just rent and deposits, it was also food, because we ate out more than usual. Moving costs like packing supplies, buying new things, hiring help, and a cushion for the unforeseen.

I learned that it's best to save, just to save. Not for a goal, like a trip or a new car, but saving, just to have savings. I fully see that money equals options, and that I shouldn't spend it, just because I have it. I've learned that even when you think you know, and are sure of something, life can show you otherwise. And I learned that I'd like to be as prepared as possible for anything unexpected.

And if you’re reading this thinking, “duh”...it’s not “duh.”

I wasn’t taught any of this. Bills, budgeting, money management, or just how to live life in general, "adulting," was never a conversation growing up. I never actually developed the understanding of the cost of living or how to live, until later in life. Growing up, I saw people get money, spend money, then simply do whatever they needed to do to get more money.

Looking back, I see it wasn't as straightforward or as simple as not making enough. They didn't seem to know how, or perhaps didn't care to manage what they had. It seemingly wasn’t a priority, or perhaps they just genuinely didn't know. Designer was the desire, and survival mode was the norm. Not savings, structure or sustainability.

Other lessons were deeper. Like the importance of staying present with myself. To remain aware of my thoughts, emotions, and reactions, and not get swept up in them. To hold space for how I feel, but not let those feelings make decisions for me. To prioritize peace, even when I crave connection. To protect my energy, even if it means creating distance. To focus on what actually works for me and my son, regardless of other people’s opinions or expectations.

While these are things I’ve been learning and working on for the past few years, it seems this move was really the thing to put it all to the test.

And I’m still learning. A work in progress. Evolving bit by bit.

A New Reality Check

And now that we’re here, in our own space, I feel better.

But transparently, after day two of moving in, I looked around and saw the reality of how life really works. It’s a series of tasks.

Yes, I accomplished my goal, but now there are a variety of other goals, and to-dos. Goals that I am excited about, but there isn’t a falsehood of just sitting back and relaxing in my accomplishment. I now must maintain it.

Better, yes. Easier? Not exactly. But still, hopeful, inspired, and motivated.

I Am Vision Driven

Now that we’re here, I can see how every step, especially the hard ones, brought me closer to this moment. I wanted this move to feel different, and it does. Not because life suddenly got easy, but because I finally chose alignment over survival, peace over chaos, and strategy over impulse.

My intention is for this next chapter to feel like ease. Structure. Peace. More space for calm, and clarity.

I’m getting back to my content creation. Focusing on my YouTube channel. Growing Brittney Ave. And transitioning my mobile bartending business into an online resource for party planning. I’m building systems and routines that support the life I want. Trusting my own intuition, pace, and process. And being unapologetic about it.

Stay Connected

If this resonates, I’d love for you to walk alongside me, here and through my YouTube channel, Brittney Ave. But more than that, I hope this post inspires you to start creating your own next chapter. One built on peace, purpose, and the kind of life you actually want.

This move was a step into alignment, not perfection. If there’s one thing I want you to take away, it’s that peace isn’t something you wait for, it’s something you create, decision by decision.

To see the behind-the-scenes of this move, subscribe to my YouTube and hit the bell so you’re notified when my video goes live.

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With love, and gratitude,

Brittney